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BACK	We looked high and low for a sensitive Keenspot man who could honestly and tactfully give constructive criticism to our female models, based on various criteria including form, choice of swimwear, and personality. We found Joe, instead.

JOE RANKS THE BABES	Joe, chauvinist pig and self-appointed rater of women.
Adventure Inc's Sara Rating: 10 out of 10 "Hot damn, this is what I'm talkin' 'bout! Is it cold down there? Hooo, boy, I know it's feeling pretty hot where I am. Hummina..."
Avalon's girls Rating: 7 out of 10 "I'd give these girls straight tens, but, dude, we're talkin' jailbait here! I'm sorry if I'm starting to sound like my reserved pal Dan, but a guy has to have some standards. Plus they're Canadians, so that knocks them down from an 8 to a 7. Though, girls... in a few years... let's talk?"
General Protection Faults's Trudy Rating: 6 out of 10 "I dunno, dude. She looks pretty fine, but... I'm a little scared for Little Joe, if you know what I mean. That face doesn't lie."
Clan of the Cat's Chelsea Rating: 10 out of 10 "I give this chick full points for nudity. There should be a law requiring all girls to go to the beach like this. But next time, girl, how about visiting during the daytime so I can see you better? Heh heh."
Elf Life's Glynhial Rating: 8 out of 10 "Either this girl's got freaky-ass nipular regions, or those dinky purple pastries sure have their priorities straight. Too bad she's smaller than my finger."
General Protection Fault's Ki Rating: 9 out of 10 "Mmm mmm MMM! I usually avoid the geeks, but this little lady can install her Windows on me any day. One point deducted for not having a mouth to smooch. Now what's this UNIX thing about? Is that some sort of Microsoft thing?"
Joyce from It's Walky! Age: 21 Hobbies: Huggling teddy bears and watching Pokemon. Rating: 0 out of 10 "Okay, this is just wrong. Some people just aren't meant to be sexual objects, and Joyce is one of 'em. Joyce is one of the most innocent, pure, naive... oh, I'm going to be sick...."
Sal from It's Walky! Age: 20 Hobbies: Kicking extra-terrestrial ass for the secret government agency SEMME. Rating: 9 out of 10 "Heck yeah, now that's what I'm talkin' about! Yeah, baby! Woo! I'm gonna pretend for now that Sal isn't an annoying southern girl who shoved me into my own locker and just enjoy the view. And what a view it is. Oooooh baby."
Billie from It's Walky! Age: 20 Hobbies: Being abusive. Rating: 6 out of 10 "Ooh, here's my best friend's girlfriend Billie at the pool behind her parents' mansion. Not only is she cute, but she's loaded! She's a bit bossy, though, and us guys gotta let those little women know who's in charge, y'know what I'm sayin'? Heh heh heh. Heh... .... I'm so lonely..."
Walky from It's Walky! Age: 20 Hobbies: Eating Nachitos and talking about poo. Rating: 1 out of 10 "What the hell is this?! Freakin' crap, when I go to see swimsuit babes, I darn well demand swimsuit babes, not scrawny kids like this! Where's the estrogen?! WHERE'S THE ESTROGEN?! Well, at least it's not Joyce."
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