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Bikeeni Summer 2000
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We asked the sprite from Elf Life to review the new pinups here at Keenspot's Bikeeni Summer 2000 because we wanted a completely objective opinion.

We forgot that the sprite is not only a completely different species from anyone represented on this site, he's also completely gender neutral. As a result, his opinions are so totally objective as to be completely worthless.

It's not even worth our time to delete his completely worthless remarks.

THE SPRITE'S GUIDE TO THE PINUPS

All things furry

Furry things are cuddly. Life teaches you that. No, I'm sorry, it's TV ads and Disney movies that teach you that.
One bad thing about being furry is it makes it hard to get a tan. The good thing is you don't need sunblock. You certainly don't need a straightjacket, unless it has some built-in UV protection.
This guy has the right idea, but he's not gonna get a good, even tan.
You know, if cattle had any say in the matter, they wouldn't let themselves be branded. But give them a little spending cash, overnight leave, and a case of beer, and you just know they'll drag their sorry behinds in the next morning with tattoos.
I'm not completely sure what kind of animals these are, but one of them's plenty furry.
And you thought a rat couldn't fill out a bathing suit. Ha! Guess you've got egg on your face.
Other creatures

I do not like children. They're always trying to pull the wings off of bugs and, uh, er, other small things with wings.
See? More brats. This is just the kind of shenanigans I'm talking about!
These look like some kind of gnomes or trixters. I'd cut them a wide swath, believe you me!
EEEEEEEEEEEE!

Oh, I'm sorry, it's just a picture. I thought it was the real deal there for a minute.

This is one of the meanest faeries I've ever met, and I've met more than a few.

I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley. I wouldn't even want to meet her in a well-lit social club for tea and biscuits.

*shiver* I've got to go -- who are you people again?

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