![]() BACK | We asked the sprite from Elf Life to review the new pinups here at Keenspot's Bikeeni Summer 2000 because we wanted a completely objective opinion. We forgot that the sprite is not only a completely different species from anyone represented on this site, he's also completely gender neutral. As a result, his opinions are so totally objective as to be completely worthless. It's not even worth our time to delete his completely worthless remarks. |
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THE SPRITE'S GUIDE TO THE PINUPS All things furry Furry things are cuddly. Life teaches you that. No, I'm sorry, it's TV ads and Disney movies that teach you that. | ||
| One bad thing about being furry is it makes it hard to get a tan. The good thing is you don't need sunblock. You certainly don't need a straightjacket, unless it has some built-in UV protection. | ||
| This guy has the right idea, but he's not gonna get a good, even tan. | ||
| You know, if cattle had any say in the matter, they wouldn't let themselves be branded. But give them a little spending cash, overnight leave, and a case of beer, and you just know they'll drag their sorry behinds in the next morning with tattoos. | ||
| I'm not completely sure what kind of animals these are, but one of them's plenty furry. | ||
| And you thought a rat couldn't fill out a bathing suit. Ha! Guess you've got egg on your face. | ||
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Other creatures
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| I do not like children. They're always trying to pull the wings off of bugs and, uh, er, other small things with wings. | ||
| See? More brats. This is just the kind of shenanigans I'm talking about! | ||
| These look like some kind of gnomes or trixters. I'd cut them a wide swath, believe you me! | ||
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EEEEEEEEEEEE! Oh, I'm sorry, it's just a picture. I thought it was the real deal there for a minute. This is one of the meanest faeries I've ever met, and I've met more than a few. I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley. I wouldn't even want to meet her in a well-lit social club for tea and biscuits. *shiver* I've got to go -- who are you people again? | ||
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